I’ve always wondered exactly “what” I was, you know when you are little you feel better if you belong to a group, a clan, a tribe. I’ve heard several arguments for and against putting yourself in a box; defining yourself as a person. If I wanted to define myself I could use several hundred boxes in which to put myself.
If I wanted to describe myself by astrological standards I could say I’m a Gemini. This is true unless you go by the 13th symbol, then I’d be a Taurus. I could also say that I’m an INTJ; some days I am more E than I. It doesn’t change where I get my energy from that’s for sure. I’m also less J than I’ve ever been so the scale keeps sliding.
I keep expanding, I keep changing. I have always loved the saying, “the only person you should try and be better than is the person you were yesterday.’’
My dear friend Melissa Cynova, she wrote ‘Kitchen Table Tarot.’ Her cards have her name on them and one word; Reader. She was asked what that was all about. Her answer was brilliant as always. She said something to the effect that she didn’t want to be called a fortune teller, or anything like that, she was a reader.
She reads cards, she reads energy, she reads people. She’s freaking great at it too! She IS a reader. So I texted her the other day, and it went something like this:
Me: “I have a question for you. Since you call yourself a reader, which I believe is the most accurate description of you in the whole entire history of eva. What would I call myself? If I had to define myself or what I do in one word I wouldn’t even know where to start. Do you have any suggestions since you are the only wordsmith guru that I know.”
Me: “I love it!!” *heart eyed emoji*
Then I started the list, and I kept listing and listing……and listing. Would you like to see what Melissa knew about me? Pull up a chair, and grab something to drink, this might take a couple of minutes. So let’s begin, and in no particular order, this is me…”the seeker.”
I AM a Seeker of insight, of direction, of knowledge, of information, of wisdom, of the ways of truth.
I am a seeker of great books, and of beautiful stories. I am a seeker of alchemy, of adventure, of life, of Northstars and compasses, and also of the mysteries.
Sometimes I’m a seeker of approval and praise, because who doesn’t like a little of that sometimes? I don’t need it to thrive though. I’m a seeker and seer of signs, of spirit, of the Universe and of God, the Holy Spirit, of ghosts and energetic signatures. I am a seeker of validation every once in awhile, but not all the time. I am a seeker of healing modalities and of shamanic journeys, of ancestral roots, of tools for healing toolboxes, and wonder.
I am a seeker of good coffee and good food, of great whiskey, of red wine and dark chocolate.
I am a seeker of inspiration, of the ancients, of guides (spirit and otherwise), of rocks and minerals, and of projects to complete. I am most definitely a seeker of recipes to try, of ideas, of art, of weather phenomena, and of great clouds.
I am seeker of wonder and feathers. A seeker of gift ideas for my loved ones, of places to go, of things to do, of people to see.
I am a seeker of patterns in the universe, of scientific discoveries, and of scientific theories.
I am a seeker of animal totems, of soul selves, of energy in general.
I am a seeker of great music that speaks to my soul, of kick ass dance offs, and of meanings to life.
I’m also a seeker of angelic touch points or symbols and signs. I am a seeker of heroes, of pay it forward moments, of finding kindness in the world. I’m also a huge seeker of small gestures with loving intent. Those moments that might not mean a whole lot to you, but that could change the destiny or the direction of the recipient.
I’m a seeker of the small magical moments, of deep belly laughs and giggles of children. I am a seeker of living IN the moment, of precious smiles, and of cups running over.
I am NOT a seeker of revenge, or anything hurtful or hateful. I will leave that to others, because it’s not me.
I have to admit a couple of things though; I am a finder too. I am a finder of happiness, of paths, of love in my life, sometimes great parking spaces, and tables in bars. I’m also blessed to also find part, even if it’s a small part, of my purpose. Finding after seeking, and being content with what you do find is one of those heaven on earth moments. I can be content with what I find. It totally is a thing, but that doesn’t stop me from seeking; sometimes it just deepens the quest.
I’m also a builder of foundations, but foundations take time, effort, and a “wanna”. That wanna makes you dig real deep down in your soul for change. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are we. We take time, because we are worth it. I’m a builder of esteem, mostly of my own, but a girl has to start somewhere. I’m a builder of life paths. If you are interested in finding your own, I could help with that. With the right questions, and some elbow grease you too could stumble on part of your own.
Life is about the journey to unfold the purpose of why we are here. I’m on my journey, and will be till I die; constantly seeking, finding, building my dream that I’m living everyday. My life is never a dull moment, and neither is my journey. Honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way; live well, dream big, seek often.
Seeking is a lifetime obsession of mine, actually it’s been the one thing that’s been a constant throughout. There are things that may change, but being a seeker I hope isn’t one of them. If I’m not seeking something then I don’t believe that I’m learning, if there is one thing that I do it’s learn. Learning is genetically encoded in my biology, in my DNA. I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t seeking to glean copious amounts of information.
The thing about me is that I never ask or expect anyone to do anything that I’ve not already done, and experienced myself. If I don’t want to do it why should I ask anyone else do to it either. To me that just makes sense, ya know? Being a seeker you have to be okay with, and up for just about anything. Seeking takes a certain lifestyle, to which I am completely committed.
My motto: Learn, Experience, Practice, Share (Repeat)
About the Author: Keva Bartnick
Keva Bartnick is an artist, writer, and lightworker. Happily married mother of three; she’s been inspiring people to be their most courageous selves since 2015.
She can be found at Taleoftwofeathers.com